Restlessness: Gift or Curse
Do you ever feel like you’re constantly on the go, always searching for the next thing to do or accomplish? That restless energy can often feel like a gift—a drive that keeps you moving forward, achieving, and staying productive. But is it always a blessing? Or could it be a curse in disguise, preventing you from truly enjoying the present moment? As someone who thrives on being busy, I’ve had to ask myself - Is my restlessness helping me, or is it holding me back?
For a long time, I saw this as a positive trait—being busy, getting things done, moving from one thing to the next. But recently, I’ve started to ask myself: Am I staying busy because I need to, or because I want to avoid slowing down? And underneath it all, there’s a more dangerous belief at play: I’ll be happy when…
I’ll be happy when I finish this project. I’ll be happy when I hit this goal. I’ll be happy when I finally achieve this milestone.
It’s a familiar trap, isn’t it? The idea that happiness is always just around the corner, waiting for us at the end of the next task. But here’s the thing—when we live in that mindset, we never actually arrive. Life keeps moving, and the next task, goal, or project takes its place, and so the cycle continues. The truth is, happiness isn’t somewhere in the future. It’s in the now—in the little moments we often overlook.
The Work-Life Restlessness
At work, this restlessness often feels like a badge of honour—cramming as much as possible into the day, feeling accomplished because I’m juggling a hundred tasks. But that doesn’t mean I’m doing any of them well or truly enjoying the process. And the more I do this, the more I realise that it’s not sustainable. I’ve had to make a conscious effort to carve out time for myself, ensuring I take a proper lunch hour, and setting clearer priorities.
At home, it’s a similar story. Instead of rushing to answer another email or tackle the next thing on my to-do list, I’m learning to slow down. I want to be there when my kids are playing the piano or showing me their latest TikTok video—not just physically present, but truly engaged. Taking time to appreciate these moments is so much more valuable than ticking off one more task.
The Restless: Always Moving, Never Present
This feeling of needing to do more, accomplish more, or constantly search for the next exciting thing is what Positive Intelligence calls the Restless Saboteur. It can trick us into thinking that constant busyness is a sign of success or productivity. The truth is, it often keeps us from fully enjoying the present moment.
But here’s something that surprised me—what if this restlessness is about more than just the need to stay busy? What if it’s about avoiding something else?
What Are You Running From?
A while back, my coach asked me a question that I thought was pretty bizarre at first: What are you afraid of? What would happen if you sat with your emotions, doing nothing? My immediate reaction was, ‘I’m not afraid of anything - Of course not! I’m just busy, that’s all!’
But when I dug deeper, I realised there might be some truth to it. I’ve always been someone who gets energy from being around others—an extrovert who thrives on connection and activity. And honestly, I don’t particularly enjoy being alone. Not because I’m lonely, but because being alone often means sitting with my thoughts, my feelings, and… well, just being. That can feel uncomfortable.
Slowing down, not doing anything, and simply existing in the moment—it's something I’m not used to, and I suspect I’m not the only one. If you’re like me, always on the move, it might be worth asking yourself: What are you avoiding by staying busy?
The Impact of "I'll Be Happy When…." Thinking
In the workplace, the "I'll be happy when" mindset can be especially harmful. You’re constantly chasing the next milestone, thinking that happiness will come once you reach it. E.g. Getting that promotion. You experience a day of happiness but once you get there, it’s onto the next goalpost—I’ll be happy when the next big thing happens. And in that process, you never take the time to appreciate what you’ve already achieved, what’s great about today, or this week.
The same goes for personal life. We tell ourselves that once we’ve ticked off all the boxes—once the emails are done, the tasks are complete, when we get the big house, when I’m married we’ll finally relax and enjoy life. But that moment of contentment keeps slipping away, buried under more tasks and shifting goals. The key is to stop waiting for happiness and instead find it in the present, in the simple moments that often get overlooked.
“That all sounds great Jo but what tips do you have to help me be less restless?”
I hear you! Let’s dive into some practical tips that can help you slow down and just be! Here are some strategies that have helped me slow down, embrace the present, and manage the Restless Saboteur:
Practice Being Present: This might sound simple, but it’s often the hardest thing to do. When you catch yourself bouncing from task to task or distracting yourself with work or social media, take a breath. Ask yourself: What can I appreciate about this moment right now?
Create Moments of Stillness: Incorporate small moments of stillness into your day. Whether it’s enjoying your coffee without checking emails or taking a short walk without listening to a podcast, these little pockets of calm allow you to reconnect with yourself.
Single-task and Prioritise: At work, resist the urge to multitask. Focus on one task at a time and set clear priorities. This will help you feel a sense of accomplishment and prevent that scattered, restless feeling.
Set Boundaries for Work: Make sure you’re giving yourself enough time to rest. Taking a lunch break or stepping away from your desk for a moment isn’t unproductive—it’s necessary. You’ll return with more clarity and focus.
Embrace Gratitude: Practising gratitude every day helps shift your focus from what’s next to what’s now. Every night, I take a moment to acknowledge what I’m grateful for—whether it’s the small joys or bigger milestones.
Be OK with Doing ‘Nothing’: It’s okay to be still. It’s okay to have nothing on the agenda. If you find yourself alone or with downtime, resist the urge to fill it with work or distractions. Instead, just be. Reflect, relax, and appreciate the quiet.
Conclusion
So, is restlessness a gift or a curse? It can be both. Restlessness can push us to achieve, create, and explore, but if left unchecked, it can rob us of the joy and fulfilment found in the present moment. The key is balance—learning to harness that energy when it serves you, and slowing down when it doesn’t. If, like me, you find yourself trapped in the loop of busyness, take a step back and ask: Is my restlessness driving me toward happiness, or is it keeping me from it?