Why Overwhelm Is Stealing Your Joy (and How to Take It Back)

The run up to Christmas is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, but let’s face it—sometimes it feels more like the most overwhelming. Between juggling Christmas planning, social commitments, end-of-year work deadlines, and endless family logistics, the mental load can become crushing. And let’s not forget the invisible pressure to make everything perfect for everyone else.

So, let me ask:  Does this season feel joyful or exhausting?

I’ll admit, there have been times when I’ve let the mental load of the season steal my joy entirely. One year stands out vividly. My days were packed with work deadlines, social engagements, and racing around to keep everything on track. I was already stretched thin when the train I was on broke down, delaying me even further. By the time I got home, I was frazzled, and the smallest things tipped me over the edge. I snapped at my kids—over nothing—and instantly felt a wave of guilt that left me questioning what all this rushing was even for. I had become so consumed by the busyness that I lost sight of what mattered most.

It was a hard lesson but a necessary one. The truth is, when we let overwhelm take over, it robs us of the ability to experience joy in the moment. But I’ve learned there are ways to lighten the mental load and reclaim the season—not by doing more, but by focusing on what truly matters.

The Science of Overwhelm

When we’re overwhelmed, our brains go into survival mode, activating the fight/flight/freeze response. In this state, decision-making becomes harder, small inconveniences feel insurmountable, and joy feels out of reach. Essentially, overwhelm hijacks our ability to think clearly, replacing it with a constant sense of urgency.

At its core, overwhelm is often linked to the mental load—the invisible to-do list we carry in our minds, from remembering to buy gifts for the school raffle to ensuring work projects are wrapped up before the holidays. It’s no wonder we feel stretched thin. But here’s the good news: there are ways to manage this mental load and avoid letting it ruin the next few weeks.

“That all sounds great Jo but what tips do you have to help me lessen the mental load?”

Here are some strategies I’ve learned to take back control, reduce overwhelm, and, most importantly, rediscover the joy of the season:

1. Prioritise Ruthlessly
   Not everything on your list has to be done. Ask yourself:What will truly matter?  Focus on those tasks or traditions that bring real value and let go of the rest.

2. Delegate Without Guilt
   You don’t have to do it all. Whether it’s asking a partner to take over Christmas shopping or getting the kids involved in wrapping presents, sharing the load can ease the pressure.

3. Embrace “Good Enough”
   Perfectionism is the enemy of joy. Sometimes, “good enough” is all you need. The tree doesn’t have to look like it came from a magazine, and that’s OK.

4. Schedule Small Joys
   Make time for moments that recharge you—a coffee with a friend, watching your favourite Christmas film, or taking a walk to admire the lights. These small pockets of joy can transform your mindset.

5. Declutter Your Mind
   Write everything down. Brain-dump your to-do list onto paper or use an app. This helps clear mental space, giving you a better perspective on what really needs doing.

6. Set Boundaries with Your Time
   Protect your downtime. Be realistic about how much you can commit to, whether it’s at work or socially. Saying “no” can be a powerful way to regain balance.

7. Planning for the Unexpected

   One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is to expect the chaos. This time of year comes with its own set of surprises—trains breaking down, unexpected deadlines, last-minute changes. But rather than letting these derail me, I now plan for them. I build in buffer time, prioritise rest, and, most importantly, let go of the idea that I have to do everything.

In Summary, Reclaim the Joy of the Season

The mental load of the run up to Christmas doesn’t have to steal your joy. By letting go of perfection, focusing on what truly matters, and giving yourself permission to slow down, you can create space for the moments that bring real happiness.

This season isn’t about doing it all—it’s about finding joy in the chaos and making time for what matters most. Because at the end of the day, it’s not the client project, perfectly wrapped gifts or the endless to-do lists that we’ll remember—it’s the laughter, the connection, and the quiet moments of peace.